How do we get to know our neighbours

I asked a few of the local people in the area about a street party but everyone seems to be too busy to do anything about getting to know their neighbours. Should we try harder to get to meet and know everyone in the street or should we just happily ignore the fact that we don't really know people that are close or in the same street ....?
Talking about gardens should often a good way to start a chat and get to lead into a more closer friendship with people nearby but this does not always happen..

Maybe we just have to sit on the front fence and wait for someone else to put in a effort of getting to know neighbours ay

Yep ! it is so difficult . It would be soo good to have a regular street party

garden_worm

I have often thought of things such as this. However, what stops me is the thought that friendly, but arms length is the best for neighbours. After all, you have to live with them in close proximity for potentially a very long time. It's a fine line of a balance in my opinion. I personally don't want to be so close that people 'drop by' unannouced, and I certainly don't want to be so close that the potential to clash and argue comes about. One side of my garden is without a fence. The geography of the land almost creates a barrier. The neighbours and I are friendly, have exchanged phone numbers and talk about our respective gardens, as after all we share a patch in the middle, and I do quite like them. I have planted a hedge which I now realise is actually on their land, but luckily they are happy with it. I think you just feel your way in any situation, but personally I want to be friendly, but not best friends with my neighbours.
I think about it like the close close friends I have, but that I couldn't possibly live with.
Arms length and harmony for me.
A

The old saying "Familiarity breeds contempt" is most appropriate in this situation. Because so many people live very close to their neighbours, keeping the distance can help in keeping the peace. Privacy is hard to maintain if you live in suburbia, and even harder when your neighbours know your business.
That is not to say that you shouldn't be friendly, and prepared to help each other out in an emergency or time of need.
Perhaps you could pot up a little something nice from your garden, dress it with tinsel and take one round to each neighbour on Christmas eve or morning?

Well we found a very novel way of getting to know our neighbours... A Neighbour's house caught fire!!!

Very fortunately he wasn't home at the time, but we all stood outside in the street in shock and talking to each other while the firemen put the infurno out...

Unfortunately the occupant of the house has lost the vast majority of his possessions in the blaze and as his house has completely lost it's roof, he is currently camped in the front yard in a caravan.

I imagine the neighbourly gestures will continue as people from the street wander down to donate clothes, cookware, fresh cooked dinners, etc. It was a terrible accident, but we all learned a lesson in just how important it is to know what is going on in the street, who lives where and what their general movements are. We thought Phil was lost in the blaze as his car was home, but since found out he was out with friends.

It was just very fortunate that our local hero neighbour Dave didn't dive through a burning window in search of him!

Ange

Well Anglee , Burning down a house is a trifle drastic .

Hope no one has to go to this scenario to have a good or "you- beaut Christmas." In some areas of town people are a little bit hesitant to mix, but in other parts of town people seem to be more affording of a friendly attitude

I do feel for people who loose their home fire or any other cause. It is so devastating having to start all over with a load of grief on ones shoulders as well as the physical loss.

garden_worm

I organised a Christmas street party one year as we moved into a new estate and there were a lot of newcomers. Everyone brought drinks and food to share and a chair. It was nice but I found that the people who knew each other tended to stick together and not involve the newcomers. I chose not to do it again as I felt they had missed the point. One person who has always lived in this area said he had enough friends and didn't need anymore. Fair enough I suppose, but not very neighbourly.

When we first moved here there weren't many houses and everyone was friendly but in the last few years there has been 10 new houses go up. As no one knew each other, my next door neighbour (the good one) organised a 'meet the neighbours sausage sizzle and drinks' one Saturday arvo. She goes for a walk everyday so she put an invitation in everyone's letterbox. Most of the neighbours came, both new and old and we all had an enjoyable time, everyone mixed well especially at the start and then started to form little groups of like-minded people. It was a successful afternoon and a few friendships were made but no one has been pushy but (nearly) everyone has stayed friendly eg wave as go past or a quick chat if you pass each other on a walk. My next door neighbour has a Xmas party most years and occasionally other parties through the year (never loud) and generally invites the neighbours so we can all catch up with each other then.

I would recommend a 'meet each other party' but then we are in a rural area and Gympie is known as a friendly place.

Yes see I have discovered as a result of our neighbours fire that we in fact are the outsiders... Everyone else seemed to know the occupant of the house that burned down by name and profession. Although no one knew his surname which hampered efforts to find him somewhat.

A few of the people in our street are actually related in some way, several sets of elderly parents and their middle aged children living several doors up from each other, so some neighbours know each other very well.

We ourselves have a close family friend living 5 doors up from us (she rang us when she saw the for sale sign go up which enabled us to buy in the area!).

I considered a street party might be in order this year, if for no other reason to offer some support to Phil and celebrate the fact that he's alive and safe after his fire. I also thought it would be a good opportunity to get a street register going. Have everyone add to a list of names, number of house occupants and a couple of emergency contacts to a sheet that can be kept by each occupant in case of emergency.

However my concern is the legalities. I'd love to set up a BBQ or 2 and a couple of tressle tables on the road and have everyone BYO meat and drinks then donate a salad to share... but as I said, surely our council would find some reason to object... They're pretty hardline around here!

Ange

People don't want to meet and chat these days.There seems to be a great resistance for people to chat even in the street . If people do manage a quick "grunt" or "good-day" they keep walking past at a accelerated gait. Yep one can see the nervous look as if one were going to harm them in some form of anger or do them some dreadfull thing.Mabe I say hello to too many people in the street. I just wish people wrer more friendly ( strangers) Maybe it comes down to dollars

garden_worm

I agree GW. That is what we like about Gympie so much, everyone (well nearly) says hello as you walk down the street, shop assistants are pleasant and well mannered, when driving my hand gets sore from waving to passing cars whether you know them or not, and I often spend 5 minutes talking to total strangers in the main street.

My in-laws moved here nearly a year ago and they can't get over how friendly people are here. When my husband went down to the city (outer suburbs) several months ago, he got a shock because he received dirty looks from other drivers when he let cars take their turns in merging lanes. He didn't even get a thank you wave or smile from the people who were let in. No wonder there is road rage. (No we are not 'country bumpkin' drivers, we both lived in cities until about 15yrs ago) Everyone is too busy and rushed, and manners and politeness have gone. Is this the result of less discipline when raising children?

Hello Everybody! When we moved into our last house in suburban Brisbane I decided that I would make the move to be friendly. Since I spend a lot of time in the garden and we lived in a cul-de-sac I decided that I would wave to EVERY car (often cannot see occupants because of tinting and glare on screens) that passed our home while I was out the front. I decided also to say hello to everybody who walked past. At first it was a bit difficult but gradually people realised that I was not an axe murderer or similar but rather the local church minister. We shared some of the fruits of the vege garden and had some folks over for a cuppa etc. You tend to recognise those who are happy to do that. After three years I knew all but a few families and they obviously chose to keep to themselves but still waved as they drove past...even if I had not seen them initially. Some of the folk were very friendly. Some folks expressed there friendliness in sadness when we relocated last year. Now that we are on a small acreage it is a little more challenging, but I say hello to all who walk past when I am down near the road. Regards, Daniel

Hi Folks....This is how we met our neighbours and the best part was we did not try.

We built out house so what you say, well when two grey headed people just a little shy of 60 are there hammering, sawing, and drilling and then painting for nealy 12 hours a day 7 days a week for 6 months it does not take long to meet everyone around the area, from the local bank manager just curious as he had never seen a house getting build before, the counciler worried about our U ( double forked) trees, the roofer yes he got the job, the plasterer he got it too, the local copper on his motor bike still waves if he see me out the front, even the teenagers ridng their horses down the road used to yell out and ask how we were today or what are you up to now.

And advice, plenty of that which was sometimes welcome, other times not, and the savings we had on all the paint, and other things as new to Brissie we did not know where to get the best deals. I remember once hubby and I were tryng to put up one of the door frames ( 12 ft X 7ft ) and I did not have the strength to hold it, then out of the blue I see this guy coming in to help what a relief!!. When we had smoko people would stop in for a cuppa and biscuits and chat for a while and see how the work was coming on, it was great.

Now five years down the track I look back and think of all the neighbours that gave me plants and cuttings and garden advice, so many have moved away but those that haven't still stop when walking their dogs in the mornings and they see me in the garden they say lovely things about it so I offer cuttings or plants/bulbs as now it my turn to give back what my lovely neighbours have given to me over the years....Cheers..MM

Well done MM...my experience of your kindness is exactly that...genuine kindness and care for others. I guess that is a secret of getting to know your neighbours...being kind to them. Daniel

GW maybe you should place a wanted ad in your window...

Wanted, friendly neighbours for occasional curb-side chat, friendly wave and meaningful hello. Applicants must not be adverse to the odd invitation to afternoon tea. If you fit this description, please enquire within!

lol

Ange

wait till you have a dispute with them about a dividing fence, then you'll really get to know your neighbour

I know all our neighbours that walk dogs or who garden. When I walk my dog I chat to people gardening and when I garden I chat to people who walk dogs. That way I meet lots of our neighbours and I figure if they are gardeners or doggie people they are usually pretty nice folk.

It's all to do with experience really. If a neighbour is too arrogant and lacks the common curtesy by simply asking first then the relationship will be strained. It surprises me that there are people about that think they own not only their property but the surroundings that must surely annoy them no end!

Lucky you if you have a polite and caring neighbour that is also willing to meet you halfway.

Depends on your neighbours I suppose. We are unlucky enough to have renters nearby - one house full of loud agressive music playing unemployed louts. I have no desire to utter one word to them. Another neigbour spends the majority of his ample free time removing any leaves that overhang my fence and scratching around the place and getting the tree loppers in to butcher everything. His yard is lawn. I've spoken to him to tell him not to lean inside my fence to remove tree branches and have no desire to speak to him again - I think he's a sandwich short of a picnic.
Other neighbours are a nice family - I've offered planting suggestions and my kids swim in his pool.
Unfortunately other nice neighbours have sold and the house is rented - they are quiet but the setup is weird - methinks illegal boarding house. Neighbours two doors up are of the dog and garden variety (I agree with Jacq)and we get on well.
Then there are the dog with no garden people and the garden with no dog people - nice too.

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